Of course that's what I wanted to hear. This is about what works for YOU. It's not just about what works for me.
You may be surprised that while Mrs Didge and I were still engaged we read a copy of C.S.Lewis's "The Screwtape Letters". Coming from an old misogynist like Lewis it was a remarkable book and, again from a man who was a bachelor for most of his life, proved to be a pretty good marriage manual.
It was a series of letters from Screwtape, a senior tempter in Hell to his nephew, Wormwood, a probationary tempter on Earth, advising him in the art of tempting while, at the same time, making self-indulgence and self pride seem virtuous. In one way, I suppose, Lewis was helping to pioneer Transactional Psychology.
We dropped the religious context but still used the principles he espoused and it worked very well. That wasn't all we had going for us, of course, but after 57 years of a happy marriage I still remember Screwtape with gratitude, and although I can't say I'd ever want Lewis as a friend, I still find a great many useful quotes in his work.