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A New Element Was Found

+3 votes
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Oct 19 in Fun & Humor ☻ by Marianne (16,147 points)
Administratrium, The New Element AMES, IA

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by materials researchers at IPRT/ISU.
The new element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic weight of 0.

However, it does have one neuron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons.
This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is totally inert.
However, it can be detected chemically, since it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with.

According to its discovers, a tiny amount of Administratium caused on reaction to take over four days to complete; the normal reaction time is less than one second.

Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.

Studies have shown that the atomic mass usually increases after each reorganization.

Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere.
It tends to concentrate at points, such as governmental agencies, large corporations, and universities. It is always found in the newest, best appointed and best maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reactions where it is allowed to accumulate.

Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.

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Link: http://www.ahajokes.com/bus158.html

4 Answers

Kninjanin Oct 19

It is funny.

Marianne Kninjanin Oct 19

Lol - thank you for joining the laugh, Kninjanin.

:angel::D:D:D


Rooster Oct 19

Sounds like one of my made up science reports in school! LOL. :D :D :D

Marianne Rooster Oct 19

Lol - that must have been a funny reading - with lots of interesting conclusions.

:angel::D:D:D

Virginia Oct 19

I see the New Element is in Ames, Iowa! That is close to where I lived for five years...

Marianne Virginia Oct 19

Lol, Virginia, the New Element has "spread" very quickly, lol.

:angel::D:D:D


TheOtherTink Oct 19

Wait a minute

It isn't the atomic weight that's zero in Administratium, it's the atomic numberAll those neutrons have a lot of mass and weigh a lot:D

Lol, T(h)ink, it is the atomic number indeed - something heavy with 0 weight makes no sense.

:O:D:D


Maybe it would be a good idea if all the world's Administratium were launched into outer space, where its still-prodigious mass would be weightless. :D

Wait a minute, T(h)ink, there could be a hazard for spacecraft, if looking into the increasing number of space debris:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_debris

:O:D:D


Ok, send the Administratium out to the Kuiper Belt then.  :D

Lol, T(h)ink, that is the idea, provided that sending the Administratium does not mess up the "functions" of the Kuiper belt!

image

(I needed to add this one - lol.)

:D:D:D


Well, if there was no monster before, there surely would be one after the Administratium arrived. But better there than on Earth. :D

Lol - that may be an explanation ... :D:D

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