+3 votes
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in Fun & Humor ☻ by
Know when you’ll die
How you’ll die

9 Answers

+3 votes
How you’ll die, by

Both options give me an eerie feeling inside but I prefer "how you will die."

+5 votes
Know when you’ll die, by

I wouldn't like to know either but if i had to choose is would pick the when.  If i knew how i would live my life in fear of whatever it is that is going to kill me.  If i know when then i can live my life to the fullest up to my last day.

+4 votes
by

You left out an option. What about, "Would you like to know if you'll die?"

I don't want to know how or when. I'll just wander along with the illusion that I'm going to live forever.

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I think you will, albeit not in your present form.  :-)
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+1
Yikes!! I hope not. It's not much of a form. >:-/
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Aww, that's just your Aussie modesty talking, Didge.   :-)

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+1
Imagine a picture of Atlas, posing for a pic with the world on his shoulders, then he wakes up and realises that somebody took the world. I think he'd look just like that. ;-)
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Could be... um, but what is he standing on?
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+1
According to the Hindus, the world is supported by an elephant standing on the back of a tortoise. I'm sure if you dig around there somewhere you'll find a tortoise under his feet.
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Do the Hindus explain what the tortoise is standing on?  :-)
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+1
Actually it's a turtle, not a tortoise (my bad) and it's obviously swimming in the eternal ocean.
And before you ask how the ocean got there in the first place I can assure you that it's real. It's the primordial water in which the Flying Spaghetti Monster cooked the pasta from which all else was made.
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Several questions:

Why doesn't the water run off the hemispherical Earth and douse the elephants?

What did the stove on which the pasta was cooked rest on?

Where did the heat source in the stove come from, and what was it?

Where did the pot in which the pasta was cooked come from?
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+1
Four questions? You're such a doubter, Tink. Still, I am happy to indulge you in the hope that you will come out of the darkness and into the his Noodliness's light.

Why would the water run off? It's a case of mind over matter, and when the FSM's mind is involved that's a very powerful force. If he orders the water to stay, it stays. Anybody could have told you that.

Your other three questions are linked and can be answered that way. The cauldron in which the pasta was cooked (al dente) was the Devil's cooking pot, there was no stove, but the bonfire in which Satan torments the souls of the fallen, and the heat source was that of Hell itself. These things should be understood, even by a modern sceptic.

Of course, if General Sheridan was correct (he said that if he owned Hell and Texas he'd sell Texas and live in Hell) it's just possible that the FSM transferred some of that heat to Earth so that the process of creation could be a self-sustaining thing.
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Sorry, Didge, that just won't cut it.

"... and when the FSM's mind is involved that's a very powerful force. If he orders the water to stay, it stays."

Then there is no need for the elephants or the turtle; the FSM could just as well tell the whole hemisphere not to drop, while (s)he's about it..  Maybe the Hindus didn't know about Occam's razor.

Re Texas:   Continuous creation was discarded about 50 years ago, when the microwave background was discovered, confirming the Big Bang.

Furthermore, you are promulgating a huge heresy, to claim that Satan or his bonfire were involved in the creation process.  The FSM will not be pleased.
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+1
Bill Ockham was a good bloke but, honestly, what would a barber know about creation? If I believed everything I'd be told by garrulous barbers I'd still be living in outer darkness. Nay, Tink, I bring you words of wisdom and you fail to grasp their import. All true believers would join with me in declaring, "There is no god but the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and Marco Polo was his prophet." (Or, considering the money being made from the spread of Italian restaurants, perhaps that should be spelt "profit".)

I'm sure Ted Cruz would approve of your thoughts about Texas. Sheridan was a Yankee anyway. Hailed from Albany.

We Pastafarians aren't big on heresy and, I'm pleased to say, that the FSM is not a jealous god (you're confusing him with Jehovah who tends to send floods and plagues when he gets stroppy). We don't mind borrowing from the mythology of lesser religions.
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Your garrulous barber pal Ockham wasn't talking about creation, Didge; you really should listen more carefully, as there is wisdom in his torrent of words.   The elephants and the turtle model the PRESENT state of the world, not merely its creation, so therefore if the water is kept from spilling by the force of the FSM, then surely (s)he could apply that same force to keeping the whole hemisphere from falling.   The elephants and the turtle could then be put to better uses, like hauling logs or serving as the base of a flavorful soup in an Italian restaurant.

Sheridan might have been from Albany, but that cuts no ice with the Big Bang;  Penzias and Wilson did their work in New Jersey.  And Ted Cruz probably would not like my thoughts on the Big Bang;  for some reason, fundamentalist Christians are not fond of that theory.

And who says the FSM isn't jealous?  I once called her/him the Flying Macaroni Monster and the response was not good.  I thought I was at a Pastafarian revival meeting.
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+1
LOL no TRUE Pastafarian would take you to task for that. We are a religion of peace. Now you'll have to excuse me while I spend the afternoon making IEDs to used against infidels.
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EVERY sect of Pastafarians denounces the others as schismatics, heretics and infidels.

And as for those who go to bad Italian restaurants (and there are plenty of them), the FSM will visit the iniquities of the diners unto the third and fourth days thereafter.
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+1
Alas, there will always be those who fall by the way. Those who follow the Word as written in the Pastafarian Bible will never go hungry, and will never, never thirst again.
R'amen
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Didge, I'm afraid the noodles have gone to your head.

And you say the books you posted above comprise the Pastafarian Bible?!   OMG, I would be better off plowing through the Talmud and the Hadith.

And never thirst again after ramen?!?!   Impossible!  Not with all that salt, MSG and soy sauce.  You Japanese Pastafarian heretics are all alike, and likely to get cardiovascular disease to boot.
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+1
It's part of our ritual, Tink. We eat lots of unhealthy food the sooner to go and meet his Noodliness in the sky.
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What in heaven would His Noodliness want with a bunch of overweight, unhealthy heretical specimens like the ones you describe?
+3 votes
How you’ll die, by

I would worry less cause it's worser to know the date you will die on.

+3 votes
How you’ll die, by
I'd be happy to know either because if I knew how I'd die if probably take steps to avoid that situation only to die a different way although it may be worse.  If I knew when, I could take a huge dose of Ecstasy on the day and it'd be like wheeee I'm about to die lol. Actually if everyone knew the date of their death we could all hold a group going away party the night before.  Also it'd be a great excuse for missing work.. - to boss... oh sorry I thought I was dying yesterday but it's actually next Monday :)
+3 votes
by

Easier to plan for.

+2 votes
How you’ll die, by

I'd rather not know when;  that would spoil the fun.


+3 votes
Know when you’ll die, by

I would like to know when, one month in advance.

+2 votes
by

I couldn't check either.  I don't want to know when or how.  When that happens, it passes under the eye of God.

Plenty good enough for me.

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