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Confession with Opportunities

+2 votes
Oct 17, 2016 in Fun & Humor ☻ by Marianne (18,487 points)
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Pat and Mike were walking down the street, when they came to the church, Pat says, 'Mike, you wait here, I'm going to run in for confession, it's been a long time'. Pat enters the confessional and says,' Father forgive me, I have sinned with a married woman'. The priest asks, 'was it Mrs Murphy'? 'no, Father', was the reply. 'Was it Mrs O'Boyle'? Again the reply was 'No, Father'. 'Was it Mrs. O'Grady'? Pat said, Father, I'll not be teling you the lady's name! So the priest told him to say two Hail Mary's for each time he had sinned with the woman. Back on the street, Mike said, 'Well, how did you do'? Pat said, 'Just fine, I kept me mouth shut and got 3 new prospects'!



2 Answers

MidnightCowboy Oct 17, 2016

That's funny!

TheOtherTink Oct 17, 2016

LOL!  :D

I heard that same joke, only in my version, it was a teen-age Italian choir boy.

For his penance, he was suspended from the choir for a month and had to say 100 Hail Marys.

When his friend asked him what happened in confession, he replied, "Three excellent leads, and a month's free time to follow them up!"

Marianne TheOtherTink Oct 19, 2016

Lol - a good one too!

As to confessions, did I share the one with you about the "driving sins" (this time to the police, shown in one of Fernand Reynaud's famous sketches)?


TheOtherTink TheOtherTink Oct 19, 2016

Not that I can remember.  :D

TheOtherTink TheOtherTink Oct 20, 2016

Here is another confession joke:

An elderly Italian man who lives in Monte Cassino goes to the local church for confession.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During the battle of Monte Cassino in World War II, a beautiful woman from the Resistance knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis who were searching for her. So I hid her in my attic.”

The priest replies: “That was a brave and wonderful thing you did... you have no need to confess that.”

“But there is more Father. She was so grateful, she began to grant me frequent sexual favors."

The priest says, “My son, that was a a very long time ago and hiding her placed the two of you in great danger. Two people under those extremely stressful circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. If you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.”

“Thank you, Father. That’s a great load off my conscience. But I do have one more question.”

“And what is that, my son?” asks the priest.

“Should I tell her the war is over?”

Marianne TheOtherTink Oct 20, 2016

Lol - an excellent one. :):O:angel::D

And here's the joke about the "Good Driver":

The Good Driver

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."
The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him - he's a smart-ass when he's drunk and stoned."
The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

Link: driving - Funny#.VqjvLo-cEms

TheOtherTink TheOtherTink Oct 20, 2016

Oh, yes... I saw that one on another of your posts.  :)

Marianne TheOtherTink Oct 21, 2016

Lol - it was one of Fernand Reynaud's popular sketches. I thought that you would see it.

There was also "Tonton ? Pourquoi tu tousses ?".


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