+3 votes
172 views
in Fun & Humor ☻ by
An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.

So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North. On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call".
The American, being intrigued, asked priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.
The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.
O.K., thank you," said the American.

He then travelled to Indianapolis, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Boston, and New York.
In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it.

The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to AUSTRALIA to see if Australians had the same phone.

He arrived in Australia, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "40 cents per call."
The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.
Father, I've travelled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?"

The priest smiled and answered, "You're in Australia now, mate - it's a local call".

image Link: http://www.amazingaustralia.com.au/jokes.htm

3 Answers

+2 votes
by

Good one Marianne! :D :D

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Lol - thank you: your link brought some nice results, i.e., I found some more links.

:D:D:D


+1 vote
by

Wait a minute!

Isn't Australia known as "Down Under"?  :O :angel: :) :D

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Yes, of course, Australia is known as "Down Under" - lol.

Oops - it must have been a brainfart - lol.

:angel::D

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:O :) :D

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image

:O:angel::D

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:O :blush: :O!!!

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:angel::angel::D:D

+2 votes
by

I heard a similar joke once.

Putin, Merkel and Bill Clinton die and of course are sent straight to hell, as all politicians are.

While being conducted on their orientation tour by the Devil, they notice a red telephone and inquire as to its purpose.

Satan tells them they can use it to call Earth, to see how things are going back home, but there is a charge for each use.

Putin rushes forward and says, "I am wantingk to call MoskvaWot iss charge?"

"Six hundred and ten thousand rubles, Vlad," replies the Devil.

"I also am vishing a telefon call to make... to Berlin," says Merkel, "Wie viel?"

"Ten thousand euros, Angela," says the Devil.

"Me too," says Cinton, "Ah'd lahk to call Washington."

"OK, Bill. That will cost you one dollar," says Satan.

Naturally, Merkel and Putin are outraged at the large difference in cost, and demand to know the reason.

"The call to Washington is local," replies Satan.

by

Wait a minute! :D I just heard that yesterday! LOL

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I just thought of a sequel.

Putin and Merkel can say, ok, we'll call our respective embassies in Washington for a dollar apiece, and they can patch us in to Moscow or Berlin.

How to beat the Devil.  :D :devil: :D

by

Wait a minute; you should have taken Berlusconi instead of Merkel (he is even worse) - lol.

And weren't there also some older "Pearly Gate" jokes about famous, very rich and notorious sinners, who were allowed to choose between Heaven and Hell ?

:O:angel::D:D


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@T(h)ink
Lol! An excellent idea - but wouldn't patching them to Rome be a better idea?

:O:angel::D:D


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@Rooster

All the better; maybe that you have an idea for a little sequel as proposed by T(h)ink - and maybe that the Pearly Gates could also inspire some ideas.

image

:devil::angel::D

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@ Marianne:

Lol, yes, Berlusconi is worse than Merkel, but it would have been terribly non-inclusive of me not to have a woman in the joke.

Well, maybe I could have had Hillary in the joke instead of Bill. She's a bigger scoundrel than Merkel too. :D

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@ Marianne:

Patching them to Rome wouldn't have helped.

No reprieves, once you're in hell, unless you are a Universalist, and believe everyone, even Satan, will be reconciled with God?

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@T(h)ink

Lol - and there are quite a few others - but, but ...

Will you maintain in this case that women don't fart ?

And regarding Rome, there must be some contacts to hell - or to purgatory:

image

:O:devil::angel::D

And/or business is business:

image

:O:blush::angel::D:D:D

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@ Marianne:

Well, they CERTAINLY won't f*rt in Heaven! :O :blush: :angel:

And didn't Martin Luther have something to say about the express lane? :O :angel:

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Lol - who knows? They might send wonderful rainbows, like the unicorns and the fairies ...

Oh yes, and I am a protestant, who can also protest - lol.

Remember: we had Calvin and Zwingli ...


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@ Marianne:

You are one of the Elect, no doubt.  :)

*hugs*

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Lol - I am not sure if I am one of the Elect - I can only say "thank you, my friend" for the kind compliment and send a hug, and another, ...

:)


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:)

by

:) + hugs.

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