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A Very Smart Boy

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Williams, was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Jerry, what's your problem?" Jerry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 5rd grade!"

Ms. Williams had had enough. She took Jerry to the principal's office. While Jerry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal that this was an exceptionally bright kid. The principal told Ms. Williams he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Jerry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Jerry: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Jerry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Williams and tells her, "I think Jerry can go to the 3rd grade".

Ms. Williams says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Jerry both agreed.

Ms. Williams asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Jerry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Williams: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Jerry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Williams: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Jerry: "Pants."

Ms. Williams: "What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Jerry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Williams: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Jerry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Williams: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Jerry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.

Ms. Williams: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Jerry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Jerry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong."
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Link: http://www.ba-bamail.com/content.aspx?emailid=13748

5 Answers

Rooster

Outstanding Marianne ! Thanks for the morning laugh!  :D

Marianne Rooster

You're very welcome, Rooster. :):D



TheOtherTink

I actually heard the questions about the bubble gum and shaking hands in middle school (but not from a teacher)... and I was well under 18! :O :blush: :D

Marianne TheOtherTink

Lol - also here, teachers were seldom telling jokes themselves, with a few exceptions, though.

But presently, opinions seem to have changed - lol.

There a few, though, which I remember, one about a speaking parrot and farmers, another about somebody sneezing in a bus, and some jokes about certain conflicts or differences between regional, cantonal, urban and rural populations, dialects and languages. And there were also many sexist and foul jokes.

:blush::angel::D

Do you think that the teacher in this joke would be considered as sexist today? :O:angel::D




Didge

Fun story, Marianne :D but Jerry was a precocious lad. 

On another occasion Mrs Williams had asked the class, "Who can think of a three syllable word and put it in a sentence?" 

Hands went up here and there and she pointed to little Mary. "Beasutiful, Miss. "I think you are beautiful." 

"Thank you, Mary. That's very nice.What's your word, Jill?" 

"Wonderful, Miss. I think you are wonderful." 

"That's so kind, Jill." then she saw Jerry's hand waving around and with some trepidation pointed to him. "What's your word, Jerry?"

"Urinate, Miss."

"I might have guessed.All right, can you put it in a sentence?" 

"Yes, Miss. My dad thinks urinate but if you had bigger breasts you'd be a ten." 

Didge

Fun story, Marianne :D but Jerry was a precocious lad. 

On another occasion Mrs Williams had asked the class, "Who can think of a three syllable word and put it in a sentence?" 

Hands went up here and there and she pointed to little Mary. "Beasutiful, Miss. "I think you are beautiful." 

"Thank you, Mary. That's very nice.What's your word, Jill?" 

"Wonderful, Miss. I think you are wonderful." 

"That's so kind, Jill." then she saw Jerry's hand waving around and with some trepidation pointed to him. "What's your word, Jerry?"

"Urinate, Miss."

"I might have guessed.All right, can you put it in a sentence?" 

"Yes, Miss. My dad thinks urinate but if you had bigger breasts you'd be a ten." 

Marianne Didge

Lol - indeed, there's a problem with spelling, if comparing the "effects" of sizes 8 and 10, and that reminds me of another one with an even better description of bra sizes:

Which Bra are You?

A man walked into the ladies department of Myer's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from ."

Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied: "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"

The man asked about the differences between them.

The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses; The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen; The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills."

:D:D:D

Link: http://www.funny.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/Funny.woa/wa/funny?fn=CLTKQ&Funny_Jokes=Which_Bra_are_You

Didge Didge

Got a laugh out of that one, it's very clever. I'm gonna keep a copy. 

Marianne Didge

Lol - I was sure that you would like it (I added the link), namely the case of "lifting the fallen" or "making mountains out of molehills" ... :D:D:D.


xix

In reality, the teacher would be fired for sexual harassment of a minor, even if he didn't realize it.

But it was funny.


Marianne xix

Maybe that sexual harassment should be redefined - or are you referring to the principal?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_harassment

xix xix

No, the teacher. She was asking the easily misconstrued questions. And as with many things, the person overhearing makes the determination if the person listening is or should be offended, even if they aren't.

Marianne xix
The story is like a two-edged sword and should remind certain authorities that they are not so perfect.
There was no harassment.
...