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Terrible world history (Part 3)

Then came the Middle Ages.
King Alfred conquered the Dames.

King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery, King Harold mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings, Joan of Arc was canonized by Bernard Shaw, and victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks.

Finally, Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
In medevil time most of the people were alliterate.
The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and versus and also wrote literature.

Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of their human being.
Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences.
He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull.

It was the painter Donatello's interes in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance.
It was an age of great inventions and discoveries.
Gutenberg invented the Bible.
Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes.
Another important invention was the circulation of blood.

Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

The government of England was a limited mockery.
Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee.

Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success.
When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted, "hurrah."
Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.


Link: http://www.ahajokes.com/history.html

2 Answers


Oh Marianne! These are great! :D :D :D

Think I found your source though! :D


Marianne Rooster

Lol, Rooster - are you referring to the source of the jokes?

I hope that you can use my links, and that you are enjoying lots of good laughs.

The Mel Brooks story looks hilarious - quite worthwhile to take a closer look.


Rooster Rooster

@Marianne: It is worthwhile. No one made movies like Mel Brooks! Parodies and satire with plenty of comedy!

Marianne Rooster

Yes, Rooster, I heard about them, and I like good comedies.

What I remember about Mel Brooks is, for instance, that he directed and/or produced "Blazing Saddles" (with Cleavon Little and Gene Wilder, and himself), or the TV parody series "Get Smart", etc.

And you know exactly what you are talking about.



Wait a minute!   I thought William Tell was the Lone Ranger.

Marianne TheOtherTink

Lol, T(h)ink, of course, you are reminding me of the William Tell Ouverture, resp. the final:

By the way, you might be interested in this link: