An 85 year old couple, having been married over 60 years, die in a car crash. They had been in excellent health, due mainly to the wife's decades-long interest in health food.
When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite with Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed", the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"It's free," St. Peter replied, "Remember, this is Heaven."
Next they went out back to see the championship golf course the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on Earth. The old man asked, "What are the greens fees?"
"This is Heaven," St. Peter replied. "You play for free."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw a lavish buffet lunch with all the cuisines of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet?" St. Peter asked. "This is Heaven. It's free!"
"Um... where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol foods?" the old man asked timidly.
"That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."
The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and your stupid bran muffins. We should have come here thirty years ago!"