Riding horses is downright dangerous. The last time I rode a horse it tried to kill me.
I was asked to be Santa and had to ride along the street. Beautiful animal it was, too -- well brushed and bedecked with tinsel and tinkling bells. But it had never seen a man in a Santa suit before and as soon as I was in the saddle it tried to launch us both into space.
It bucked for a while and I can't say I actually dismounted. The third time it put all four feet on the ground I dived.
The thing went pig-rooting around the yard, then saw me still on the ground and came back to finish me off. Fortunately somebody dragged me clear.
The only person not panicking was my daughter-in-law who was photographing the whole thing. Unfortunately she didn't realise how high we were going and kept cutting my head off. That was such a pity: those photographs would have been handy at my inquest.