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A Tall Chick ?

+3 votes
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Jul 28 in Fun & Humor ☻ by Marianne (14,162 points)
edited Jul 28 by Marianne
The Emu

An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe' with a full-grown emu behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders. The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?'
'I'll have the same,' says the emu.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.'
The emu says, 'I'll have the same..'
Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again.
'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.
'Same,' says the emu.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.
'Excuse me, mate, how do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp.
When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress.
'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man.

The waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'

The truckie sighs, pauses, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.'

image

Link: http://www.funny.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/Funny.woa/wa/funny?fn=CL2XV&Funny_Jokes=The_Emu

3 Answers

TheOtherTink Jul 28

image

A truckie, by wish, was assigned

A chick, of the well-endowed kind.

My words I won't parse;

She had a big arse,

But 'twas not what the bloke had in mind.  :O

Lol - a real cutie. :D:D:D


In spite of that, she has much charm:

golden eyes, which question and smarm,

a tousled head, which can disarm,

and silky feathers, keeping warm -

and as she speaks, there is no harm ...

:O:angel::D

Rooster TheOtherTink Jul 29

@ Tink : Kind of reminds me of a mother in law!  :D

Lol - Rooster, that looks much like it ... :D

By the way, Dan is back (with an "elephant bird test" :O:angel::D) and things work again for us all!

Thank you for your help.

:):)



Hello, T(h)ink - Dan and us all are back, and the "elephant bird test" worked!

:angel::D:)

:) :angel: :D

:)<3

Rooster Jul 28

:D:D:D:D Good one mate! LOL

Marianne Rooster Jul 28

Lol - I thought that you would like the story of a tall chick with long legs, ...

:):angel::D:D

By the way, I have been reminded of the floods in India (thanks to Ladyhorse) - it is monsoon time, and in spite of sparse news on our side, I found some info, which might explain the connection problems several among us are experiencing, and why we can't reach Dan (or why he can't reach us) - whole networks seem to be affected:

http://kdvr.com/2017/07/25/flooding-puts-137-million-people-in-india-bangladesh-and-china-in-danger

http://news.sky.com/story/india-monsoon-floods-kill-at-least-16-and-force-tens-of-thousands-to-flee-10961347

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/11077646/Flooding-in-India-and-Pakistan.html

http://floodlist.com/tag/india

http://www.india.com/news/india/monsoon-2017-death-toll-rises-in-gujarat-assam-floods-landslide-in-himachal-pradesh-as-rains-continue-2331698/

http://www.ndtv.com/topic/india-floods 


Dan Jul 30

Anyone miss the "Elephant bird", the largest bird which becomes extinct in 17 or 18th century. It is larger than ostrich.

image

Dan Dan Jul 30

This is a test.

Ladyhorse Dan Jul 30

So happy to see you here...we were concerned. I don't believe there was an "Elephant Bird" but gave you a thumbs up because we were concerned about you and just thrilled that you are okay.

Virginia Dan Jul 30

I am glad to see you online also, Dan! The huge monsoon floods...

Marianne Dan Jul 30

Lol - Dan, an excellent subject for your test; it works perfectly. :)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elephant_bird

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ratite

:)

Marianne Dan Jul 30

Lol, Ladybird - "once upon a time, there was an elephant bird", but it is extinct:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elephant_bird


One of the closest, surviving relatives is the cute kiwi:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiwi 

:)<3

Marianne Dan Jul 30

Hello, Virginia - I am relieved - yippee! :):D


image

Dan Dan Jul 30

The floods are in Northern India and I live in the South. :)

Marianne Dan Jul 30

Dan, I am relieved to see that you are o.k.

:):)

Did you see the link for the elephant bird and cheering Mickey?

I hope that your evening is nice and not too sticky.


Dan Dan Jul 30

Yep, I do :)

Marianne Dan Jul 30

:D:D

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